B2 Basketball Wiki
Welcome to the B2 Basketball Official Wiki Page This is officially the unofficial source for all things Stanford B2 Basketball and its affiliated shenanigans. Description Known for its passion, grit, and generally sloppy/physical brand of basketball, the Stanford Hall B2 basketball team is notorious on the University of Notre Dame campus. Over the years, it has transformed from a team built on huge losses and no significant basketball skills into a team built on fouling, being ridiculous, and still losing by wide margins while displaying no real basketball skills whatsoever. Both hated and adored by opponents and referees (mostly hated), the B2 Griffins have played in some of the most outrageously unbelievable games in Notre Dame interhall basketball history, always providing entertainment, physicality, and fantastic bench celebrations for their numerous loyal fans. No team has accomplished less (or more, you could make the argument) with more (or less, you could make the argument). With a stable transition/recruiting process in place, the program appears to be trending upward, with no limit to what it can ultimately accomplish (maybe even making the playoffs one year???). This page serves to inform the masses on the intricacies of the dynasty that is B2 basketball, and as an historical record of its accomplishments and feats of valor. "Point Plankn" ~ Honorary B2 Founding Father, Tyshawn Taylor 'Origins, History, and Season Records' 'Origins and History' Scientists cannot say for sure when Stanford Hall B2 Basketball first came into existence, but most estimates ballpark the date at around 1957 C.E., around the same time as the vastly inferior and much less funny Keenan B2 Basketball team's founding. B2 Basketball suffered through some dark ages in its beginning, never quite putting together a winning season (or even a win) from the 1957-1958 season through the 2010-2011 season. That is not to say that it did not have some fine moments (watching Kevin Eller play basketball) and exemplary players (Stu "Dancin" Jansen laid the groundwork as the founding father of the current B2 mentality and physicality). I mean, who could forget the '94 game against Sorin? Absolute insanity! However, the program did not come into complete fruition until the 2011-2012 season (surprisingly after All-American Peter "Jamal" Hagil Chung left the team in free agency for a better deal elsewhere), when the squad won both its first and second games ever, completing an incredible, miraculous, storybook 2-2 season. The team followed that up with another 2-2 season in 2012-2013, and continues to reload with new talent every year so as to continue to foul and act ridiculous, just as Mr. Jansen would have wanted. And although the 2013-2014 season did not produce a single B2 victory, the strides the program continues to make are momentous and can only lead to a very bright future for what has become a dynasty in the Notre Dame Interhall Basketball universe. Since its maiden voyage as an intramural basketball program under the governance of Notre Dame RecSports, the B2 Griffins have helped develop some of the finest men Notre Dame has offered to the the world. Famous B2 alumni include talk show host and TV personality Regis Philbin, Heisman winner Tim Brown, prominent businessman Edward J. Debartolo, Jr., and Nobel Prize winner Eric F. Wieschaus.*** Their legacies, along with many other inspiring B2 leaders of the past (Aaron Scheid, Stu "Dancin" Jansen, Bill Shields***) will forever live on in the memories and hearts of Stanford B2 nation's loyal fanbase. .*** DISCLAIMER: NONE OF THESE B2 ALUMNI CAN BE VERIFIED AS ACTUALLY HAVING PLAYED FOR THE TEAM OR EVEN TO HAVE LIVED IN STANFORD HALL 'Season Records' 2009-2010 Season (Record: 0-4) 2010-2011 Season (Record: 0-4) 2011-2012 Season (Record: 2-2) 2012-2013 Season (Record: 2-2) 2013-2014 Season (Record: 0-4) 2014-2015 Season (Record:1-3) 2017-2018 Season (Record: 0-5)* 'Tenets of B2 Basketball' 'Fouls' The most important aspect of Stanford Hall B2 Basketball is to always be fouling (ABF). B2 often lacks the requisite skill to compete against elite basketball teams on talent alone, so the only way to hang around is by employing the most physical brand of basketball possible, so as to intimidate, weaken, and ultimately ruffle the feathers of the opponent so as to possibly give B2 a chance. The ultimate goal in terms of this most-important tenet is to have a game where everyone on the B2 team fouls out. So, if there are 15 players on the team and each player gets 5 fouls before fouling out, the holy grail of B2 Basketball is the ever-elusive Foulapalooza game (attempted thrice, not yet successfully), where the Griffins pick up 75 team fouls and are forced to forfeit due to having no more eligible players. Note: these fouls should not be picked up as flagrant or dangerous fouls, as B2 is classier than that and would also likely not be allowed to finish a game where its players were manhandling the opposition so blatantly. 'Historic Reenactments' This tenet of B2 Basketball is simple: players should take every opportunity to reenact their favorite historic basketball shots, because we all love a good buzzer beater (even if in the middle of the first half). Some common classic NCAA moments to relive include Christian Watford's shot to beat Kentucky (famously reenacted by Pat Sullivan and Joe Gadient in 2012), Bryce Drew's shot in the NCAA tournament, and Tom Kopko's runner that brought the house down in Purcell Pavilion in February of 2011. All impersonations are also welcome, especially if it means pulling up from halfcourt and yelling "Jimmer!" 'Bench Morale' Another notorious characteristic of B2 Basketball is its enthusiastic bench and crowd atmosphere, no matter the game's circumstances. The team's on-court play is certainly less important than the bench's performance as a cheering/heckling unit, as B2's bench is expected to be loud, wild, slightly inappropriate, and above all, funny. The team/bench should spend very little time yelling at the refs (who obviously are piss-poor at their jobs) and the other team (can get in trouble for taunting if we aren't careful) and instead spend time being creative in supporting the team, putting down the opponents without the ref knowing, and chatting up the scorekeeper/clock operator to gain his/her favor and possibly some free points. One major way the B2 bench has upheld its rowdy reputation is through the accumulation of team and individual technical fouls. These should be rare (considering too many can get a team banned, as the 2013-2014 squad almost discovered) and well-timed/well-appropriated for the perfect moments/actions. A great example of a perfect time to earn a team technical occurred in the 2012-2013 season against John Deggelman's Siegfried team, which had held B2 to 0 points until midway through the second half. Upon scoring their first point of the game on a shaky free throw, the B2 bench erupted and rushed the floor, leaving the refs and all in attendance laughing and at a loss for how to handle it (before inevitably giving the team a technical for rushing the floor with 10 minutes left in the game, down 30). Team technicals are the best trick B2 has up its collective sleeve, and need to be used effectively and hilariously for B2 to retain its reputation as the clowns of the league. 'Deggelman' As the first Bookstore Basketball enemy that Patrick Sullivan and Patrick Johnson ever made, John Deggelman is by far the most hated archnemesis of the B2 Basketball program. However, he is also one of our biggest fans and one of our favorite people of all time, both as an opponent on the court and a great mustache-grower off of it. He should be involved in everything the team does, whether or not he is physically present at the game/meeting/party. Popular ways to incorporate Deggelman into games include everyone on the team guarding Deggelman, no one on the team guarding Deggelman, passing the ball to Deggelman (even if he is not on the court), etc. B2 Griffins are encouraged to be creative in their Deggelman-related gameplay, but to always be looking to include him in the game. It is of utmost importance. 'Emails/Videos' It is the B2 captain's responsibility to prepare his team for each and every battle on the hardwood. Thus, in order to provide motivation (and remind players of the game so they do not forget), B2 captains are required to send out long, drawn out emails conveying the week's objectives for during the game, as well as various YouTube clips. These clips can be funny or inspirational or both (e.g. Adam Morrison High Five Ninja), and there must be at least a few of them in the email so as to really cause a stir in the loins of the B2 Griffins. These long emails are a B2 captain's number one motivational tool, and the players are encouraged to respond in the email thread in the most passionate ways possible. 'Team Defense' The first defensive possession of every game shall include the use of Team Defense, a groundbreaking defensive alignment and system devised by Special Teams Coordinator Patrick Johnson after he watched this unbelievable video . No other explanation will be required, assuming the reader clicked the aforementioned link. 'Fouls' This cannot be stressed enough, so it appears twice amongst the holy tenets of B2 Basketball. 'Significant Moments/Traditions' 'Events' *''2012 Foulapalooza Game'' What was supposed to be a foul happy, winless battle with some undefeated dorm in generic sweaty jerseys, ended up being one of the greatest moments since Golden Tate teabagged the MSU band. Peter Steiner, a shy newcomer on the team who had been struggling to get hot in the final game of his rookie season, stepped into a questionably deep 3-pointer while down 2 with 16 seconds remaining in the game. Steiner drilled the shot, the opposing team failed to score, and a group of random Zahm guys that none of us knew stormed the court with our bench and partied for a solid 2 minutes before some team members did a victory lap with their hands down their pants. *''2013 Facing Deggelman'' In an ultimate showdown, the B2 Griffins took on John Deggelman's own Siegfried Ramblers in the most anticipated Interhall Basketball matchup of the 2012-2013 season. The week leading up to the game brought hordes of TV reporters to campus, sparked countless debates on sports talk shows, and tore the country in half, based on rooting interests. Finally, on game day, Sullivan and Johnson became reacquainted with their sworn enemy and loving best friend, Deggs. After some light trash talk and generally poor displays of sportsmanship toward each other, the two teams lined up for the tip, and what followed will go down in history as a terrible game in terms of competition, but the most magnificent game in terms of entertainment. Deggelman's team immediately jumped all over the B2 team, who was preoccupied with playing team defense and yelling things at Deggelman for the majority of the first half. Focusing instead on quintuple-teaming Deggelman, leaving Deggelman unguarded, and passing the ball to Deggelman when he was not in the game and just trying to get a drink of water. Deggelman's team held B2 scoreless for the first 30 minutes of the 40 minute contest, and thus it was with great jubilation and disdain for RecSports rules that the B2 squad stormed the court upon their first point, a free throw that bounced around the rim a couple times before falling through. The first team technical of the year for B2, this moment brought joy to everyone present, including the referees, who later told Captain Pat Sullivan that they wish they hadn't had to call a technical for that. The game ended with B2 scoring probably 10-15 total points and losing by roughly 40, but the team had never been more proud than they were in that moment (having rushed the court in the middle of some free throws to celebrate 1 point). And so the Deggelman game would go down in history as an ESPN Classic, and would inspire future endeavors to pass Deggelman the ball when he was simply there as a spectator, with his hands held behind his back by Johnson. What a game. What a man. DEGGELMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN! *''2014 The No Technicals Allowed Game'' After a start to the season that featured (approximately) 2 games, 0 wins, 59 fouls, 5 foul outs, and 2 technical fouls, the powers that be at RecSports decided that B2's bruising, physical style was not "Best for Business." While the team remained wildly popular among members of the all-important "Females 18-25" demographic, older fans were turned off by B2's bad boys style of play. Commissioner Kerry Kemp called Captain Macke in and demanded answers. When B2's fearless leader could provide none other than "We're just out there havin' fun" and "We don't mean to make anyone mad or nothin'," Kemp's response was neither swift nor clear. After mumbling like a doofus for several minutes, Kemp stated that "If there's a technical foul or any trouble in the next game, there might not be a 4th game." Due to a scheduling quirk, the B2 team had the next 49 days off. After the break, a team meeting was held pregame, and everyone agreed to be chill and stuff. However, halfway through the game, a member of the opposing O'Neill team mocked Matt Niendorf's strength. Niendorf responded immediately, shoving the player nearly 10 feet through the air into a wall. This earned him a flagrant foul. At this point, many observers assumed the season would be over at the conclusion of the game. With RecSports super official/super turd Ben Finan watching, the B2 team stiffened up, shackled by the organization's unreasonable standards. They blew a game to a clearly inferior team, losing by the slim margin of 50 points. However, due to a bureaucratic error, or possibly Kerry Kemp being a doofus, no punishment was ever enacted. The game, once the talk of campus, was widely forgotten until 3 months later, when a Grantland oral history of the game revealed that Kemp was actually a homeless man who found an empty office in Rolfs and took control of RecSports because no one else really cared, explaining his inability to actually enforce punishments. *''2015 The Greatest Game Ever Played'' 83-0. The Griffins scored 83 points to the opponents 0. Only the people who were there know how they both managed to win by more that the 50 point mercy margin and managed to shut out the opponent. Many theories surround this game that is now just lore. Playing without shirts and sneaking in running subs without being penalized are just two theories. Dividing lines by class is another, as it may have added cohesion. Some people even have the audacity to claim this game never even happened. One thing is known for sure, despite an extremely and excessively physical game, and in a stark deviation from B2 basketball strategy, not a single player fouled out, though this may be chalked up to the refs letting them play. * 2018 "Playoffs?" It was March the 19th. The Griffins were fresh off spring break and all were ready to take it a little light on the booze. And all of them were bronzed as hell. It was then, on that morning the 19th of March 2018, that a peculiar email found its way into the inbox of Captain Pat "Dex" Gerspach. IMLeagues: "Reminder that you have 1 game on March 19th," the message read. A game? What was this? Had IMLeagues finally gone insane? It soon became clear that all of the sweat, heart, threes, and fouls payed off for the B2 Griffins at last. B2 had passed the committee's eye test, who knew that inviting the Griffins to the very selective and premier B Playoff Bracket would be good for the league, and it was time to let the boys play. The first 20 minutes were a blur. Things simply happened so fast and they were honestly pretty wasted. The Mad Dog tradition had carried its way into the playoffs, and all were feeling pretty frothy. With ice in his veins Curtis "Finger Guy" Stokes nailed the first of many three attempts for the Griffins, and the bottom seed underdogs took a 3-2 lead. From there, the corrupt and fake news refs took over and decided how the rest of the game would play out. Griff "Skullcrusher" Gilmore found 5 B.S fouls early, and it was clear that B2 was facing an uphill battle. Luckily, Matthew "Skinny Joe 'Shoot First'" Geenan launched up a bevy of tre's, none of which landed on the unfairly bouncy east rims of the North Dome. Offensive momentum had been regained for the B2 Bricklayers. The B1 Dunkies were in for it now. Thanks to some solid minutes from freshman Jack "Greasy-Soul-Patch" Knipe, the Studs found a way to double their 3 attempts, and a spark was lit underneath well-toned gluts off our beloved Cinderella. The offense was clearly there, but what about defense, you ask? The memo had clearly not been passed onto the Duncan Douches that it was Three-A-Palooza, and they drove to the basket with the try-hard effort of that one kid in Gym class. At the end of their lane they found Macartan "Treebeard" Commers, roots deeply planted in the hardwood. He was ready to take on the whole team himself, and for a moment it appeared he would. But the opposition had other ideas. "Rip them all down," #32 "Deggelman" commanded. The Griffins cheered as they watched the first of many obvious charges committed by the Wicked Men of the West, but their happiness was naive. At this point it was already obvious that the Deggelman had poisoned the minds of the officiating crew and claimed Lordship over the court. B2 was nearly hopeless. That was until Connor "Not Ryan" Green took matters into his own hands, and gave the Griffins a spark of light. We lost by 52. 'Traditions' *''Team Meet and Greet - Before the first game of each season, the B2 captain shall hold a team meeting (oftentimes held immediately before the first game, while everyone fills out and/or forges their health insurance information for RecSports) where the captain goes over his season and team expectations. Also during said meeting, each player must introduce himself, presenting to his teammates on such topics as name, class, major, favorite basketball player of all time, a special talent or fun fact about himself, and the answer to the question, "Who would you do?" This allows the players to get to know one another on a deeper level while also debating the biggest question facing young college-aged males in today's world. *''Team Defense - ''Please see This Previous Section *''Foulapalooza - The final game of the season, the B2 Basketball squad partakes on a quest to achieve the unachievable. That is, they attempt to foul out all of their players in one game, which would amount to 75 fouls if the team includes 15 people (it has often included more than that). Originating in 2012, the Foulapalooza has yet to come to fruition due to the rare opportunity that has arisen in the last two seasons to earn actual real-life victories. B2 did in fact win their season finale in both the 2011-2012 and 2012-2013 seasons, and so the mythical Foulapalooza has not yet been realized. This is the ultimate goal of the Stanford B2 Basketball program, and if it ever meets that objective, we will know that the B2 dynasty has arrived at its pinnacle. *''Post Season Awards - A tradition begun at the end of the 2012-2013 season by Special Teams Coordinator Patrick Johnson, the B2 Basketball Postseason Awards Ceremony (B2BPAC) is held directly following the end of the final game of the season. The captain or special teams coordinator will have created a special award for each athlete on the squad, named after a famous basketball icon and typically having a funny name that's not always relevant to the player's abilities or performance. All players must stay for this awards show and admire all teammates for the awards they have earned. *''Celebratory Party/Announcement of Next Year's Captain - ''The final tradition of B2 basketball is simple. It is a party, featuring a keg of beer, to celebrate another successful (by our standards) B2 season. During the party, everyone will be quieted and the music will be paused so as to allow the captain, assuming he is a senior, to announce his successor and explain why he chose this honorable young junior to take the reins. The newly-anointed captain will then say a few words looking forward to the next season, and then the party will resume until everyone is drunk enough to pursue other activities, such as sleeping or being sick. 'Captains' 'Aaron Scheid and Thomas Enzweiler (2010-2011) The last time two men attempted to share the power that the B2 captaincy possesses, it did not work out very well. Co-captains Scheid and Enzweiler had a back and forth power struggle that hung over the team for the entire season. Whether it was man vs zone, run and gun vs four corners offense, or butter vs margarine, these two put forth a worthy effort but failed to win a game or have multiple players foul out. There is a reason why we don't have Co-Presidents of the United States of America. '''Patrick Sullivan (2011-2013) Herman Boone. Herb Brooks. Gordon Bombay. Rick Moranis's character in Little Giants. Will Ferrell's character in Kicking and Screaming (the part where he goes crazy and Ditka hates him). John Candy's character in Cool Runnings. Gene Hackman's character in Hoosiers. Danny Glover's character in Angels in the Outfield. And Gary Busey's character in Rookie of the Year (makes a lot of weird noises in that movie by the way click here). These are just a few of the great sports heroes that Captain Sullivan was compared to during his long reign as B2 Basketball Captain. 'John Macke (2013-2014)' Known as one of the most intense competitors both on the court and off (NBA Jam especially), John Macke first played on a B2 squad his junior year at Notre Dame, in the last season (2012-2013) of Patrick Sullivan's captaincy. Macke made his first splash on the B2 stage by picking up a flagrant foul early in the season, deciding on a fast break to just take out the shooter when he rose to lay the ball in. Ever since then, this Sacramento Kings diehard fan has been a physical presence on the boards for B2, and an emotional leader. It was that leadership that prompted Sullivan to anoint Macke as his successor at the 2013 B2 Kegapalooza, ushering in a new era of B2 hoops (he also chose him due to his obvious talent he put on display at Cathedral High School in the school's Math League, as well as in the school's 2006-2007 Fantasy Geometry League). Macke's reign over the B2 dynasty has been a wild one, with his team playing a fierce brand of basketball centered around fouling, talking trash to the refs, and earning technical fouls like it's their collective job. In fact, Macke's team picked up enough technicals that RecSports threatened to ban B2 from play if they picked up any others, leading to the January 2014 No Technicals Allowed game, where Macke's squad, obviously restricted by the shackles of RecSports' threat, lost to a clearly inferior team. Although Macke's squad never won a game in his tenure as captain, he will still be remembered forever as a passionate, hilarious, sometimes scary competitor and true ambassador of the B2 way. 'Phil Posway (2014-2015)' The story of Phil Posway had been years in the making. Known for making "The Splash Heard Round the World" during his first player introduction, Phil lit up the faces of fans, if not the scoreboard. After a long career as a B2 student athlete, Phil was named captain for his senior season. While he took his share of criticism for "not knowing when to shut up" and "not fouling enough" during his junior season, Phil's ability to embrace the B2 spirit made him a fan favorite and a clear choice for captain. That and his monster balls. Similarly to the 13-14 team before, the 14-15 team had it's own run-ins with Rec Sports, this time much earlier in the season. The Griffins reputation for tough, gritty play, especially by one of the leading foulers Dan Babiak, who managed to foul out before halftime the first game. Foul number three was a kung fu kick to the chest of an opposing player. After half, Phil was sternly told by the refs after their ten minute meeting that he was to "calm his rowdy team down" and that if they had any more "nonbasketball like fouls" the player would receive a flagrant and ejection. This caused a loss, despite forcing 3 turnovers to start the game with the classic team defense. Phil's team, seasoned as it was, managed only a 1-3 record. That one win though was an 83-0 route over the opponent, which is surely an ND Recsports record for the ages. Included in the victory was shirtless players and lacrosse style substitutions. Dan Babiak (2015-2016) 8 years of cumulative family B2 basketball experience has resulted in the exemplar of all that is B2. Fouling out before half time. Kung Fu fighting. The Icky Shuffle for foul calls. General tomfoolery. Point'n and Plankn'n. Phallic symbols on white boards. Phallic symbols in play formations on the court. Headers for foul shot attempts. The man does it all, and the future is bright with this captain at the helm of the B2 ship. 'Key Players' 2010-2011 Jamaal "Peter 'Hagil' Chung" Crawford - just bore an incredible likeness to the prolific bench scorer, and also shares a first name with him. Stu Jansen - forefather of Foulapalooza, this man was a pioneer in the field of throwing 'bows and using all 5 fouls as resources throughout a game Kevin Eller - dude was just hilarious to watch play basketball '2011-2012' Peter Steiner - diaper dandy who hit the biggest shot in B2 history to defeat an undefeated opponent and enable a court-storming situation for the team, its fans, and some Zahm guys. Andrew Baglini - another freshman phenom who was a catalyst behind the comeback in the Steiner Shot game Phil Posway - they touch the water when he poops! Matt Almario - leading scorer who would later leave B2 for a better, less fun basketball squad Patrick Johnson - special teams coordinator and owner of the dry erase basketball court board that B2 would draw phallic imagery upon '2012-2013' Peter Steiner - grew into a solid role player after his brief stint of stardom as a freshman in Foulapalooza 1.0 Andrew Baglini - most reliable perimeter defender and ball handler Patrick Johnson - devised fantastic punt block and fake punt schemes that could never be used due to the fact that we were playing basketball The Brothers Babiak - high motor senior/freshman pair that crashed the boards, smashed the opponents, and trashed the refs. Also, Dan had hilarious shorts. Michael French - senior point guard...the epitome of a floor general John Macke - Mr. Hustle 2013 Honorable mention: Christopher Frank Jacques (100% DNP is an incredible career stat) '2013-2014' Patrick McFarlane - Many players have tackled other players, few have tackled men officiating their game, but only one has tackled a ref from another game without breaking a sweat. First suspended player in B2 history. THE BASH BROTHERS - David Robinson and Tim Duncan. Antonio Davis and Dale Davis. Shaquille O'Neal and Shaquille O'Neal. Ok, the last one never existed, but if it did, it would look something like Barrett Kroll and Ruben Carrion. Their presence enabled the rest of the team to start fights with literally anyone and know back up was on the way. Matt Niendorf - The calm, cool, and collected historian turned lunatic fringe of B2, famously earned a flagrant foul during the "No Technicals" game. Andrew "Hitch" Hitch - Rookie of the Year 2013-14. Donna Vu - Phenomenal team mom. Just a superstar. 2014-2015 Dan Babiak- Fouled out before halftime. Is there anything more B2? The Leprechaun- Freshman sniper from long range. Responsible for newfound energy (and ability) brought to the team. Unsurprisingly now is on cheer. Peter "Ice Blood In His Veins" Steiner- senior seasoned member who could not participate in activities due to his RA status despite being the best BP player on the team at the 2011-2012 kegger. Andrew "Bags" Baglini- best pair of orange court shoes with orange lace in the game. PF Flyers meet VS sex appeal meet AI talent with balls and their handling. Category:Browse